Waiting on God

A couple years ago sometime in 2007, I felt God call me to be a Pastor.  That's a whole different story, and a whole different blog entry for that (below).  As for right now though, I just want to share how that has been going so far.


Honestly, I have not heard much from God on that front recently, but I have seen little glimpses of His work in my life.  Things like a heart for all types of people groups, increased leadership roles, and my growth in my individual faith in & desire to truly follow Jesus all point to the fact that He has not given up on me.  However, there are still those times where I would really like to have a plan.  I thought about looking into preparing myself for a job, just in case it took more time for God's plan to pan out.  I thought about having that back-up plan just in case things did not look too promising in the future.


Then I thought to myself, "What the heck are you doing?!"  If I confess to put my WHOLE trust in Jesus, my WHOLE self has to be submitted to HIS plan.  We don't need a back-up plan, because HIS plan is the best!  I am still very unsure of what this plan holds though, which makes me slightly uneasy sometimes, especially since one of my insecurities is knowing what is going on.  I am not sure how God is shaping my heart, but I only know that He is.  Some things I feel God is working in me are the following...


(1) Late in 2010, I attended a missions conference, just because it was held at my home-church, and I wanted to represent and help out however I could.  Throughout the conference, I thought there were good teachings and worship, but nothing crazy was really going on for me, until I attended a workshop titled "Reaching the Last, the Lost, and the Least."  I think I attended because at that time I thought evangelism was something God had given me a passion for.  It ended up that this workshop was about how this organization called Global Recordings Network goes to un-reached people groups & villages and translates the gospel into their native language for them to hear.  They also used whatever resources they had and whatever strategies available to them to communicate God's extreme love for them.  This going to some village way out in the middle of nowhere really captured my interest for some reason.


(2) Then just earlier this year, my Church went on a 30-day prayer vigil for the nations, using Operation World's program/videos.  Each day I got an email with a new country and a video that showed pictures of the country's people and some prayer requests specific to that country.  I started out by just watching the videos and silently praying, but it got to the point where my heart really broke for the people for whom I was praying for.  I could really feel the gravity of their situation, the conflicts and heartache, and the trials they had to endure...and on top of that fighting Satan & his minions too!


I think these events were instrumental for me..


(3) Coming back from Ghana, my curiosity peaked about overseas missions.  I started reading some books about missionaries and their stories, which was surprising to me since I really don't read much at all (it is sometimes difficult to actually read my Bible...I know stuff in it, and I like to pray & talk, but reading just ain't my thing).  Called to Die by Steve Estes was one book about a missionary Chet Bitterman who planned to go to Colombia with Wycliffe Bible Translators to tell unreached peoples & villages about Jesus' love for them.  While he was preparing for his ministry there, he got captured by a radical political group and was ransomed and killed.  The other book was Revolution in World Missions by KP Yohannan.  For both books, I had started reading them with the intention to learn more about what it is like to be an overseas missionary, but I felt more moved by what they mentioned about what the quality of life is for many people around the world, outside my little US bubble.


(4) And most recently, I went on an Urban Dip with Intervarsity.  It was a 30-hour experience of and teaching on urban poverty in Los Angeles.  Who would have thought that taking a tour of a facility in Skid Row would be my highlight of the time?  As our tour guide was explaining to us what they did on a day-to-day basis and taking us through the various rooms, my heart was beating so fast because everything they did at Central City Community Outreach was what stirred me to pursue Marriage & Family Counseling and major in Psychology!  For the past 3+ years, my heart has been for the restoration of families, and this place did exactly that!  In the midst of many other ministries that sometimes did not reach children of the homeless & families.  Central City though picked up where the others lacked.  They gave mental, spiritual, and emotional support to the kids as they came back from school & to their parents & families.


So it seems to me that urban poverty & reaching the "least of these" with Jesus' love are a couple things God is workin in me :)  Another thing I find myself waiting on God for besides my occupation/future after college is marriage.


I guess it's pretty much the same kinda conflict.  I want to abide in God's plan for me, but sometimes it's hard to pass up opportunities that come along.  I just don't know if I should grab these opportunities as they come up (are they from God?) or wait for something else later?


JESUS, I need you!  You say that Your sheep know Your voice and You know them by name.  Help me to continue to pursue You so that I may recognize Your voice.  Amen.