So it has been quite a while since the last update! Many many things have transpired and happened since then, and I will attempt to summarize it all in this post...
Looking back, I have had the perspective a small child. At even the smallest disappointment, children contemplate the end of the world. If a balloon is let loose into the sky, all is lost! That favorite blanket that is taken away and ruined in the washing machine means the end of the world! I feel like many of the experiences I had this past summer got me thinking all was lost, and that my world was coming to an end. Now, by God's grace, I have a successful part-time job and am able to pay all my bills so far :) In addition, I am thoroughly enjoying my internship with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, especially since I get to work with international/immigrant students from around the world :) It was definitely a journey to this place though! God's hand was definitely takin care of me though....
The weeks following graduation seemed surreal. After four hard and faith-stretching years at Cal State LA, my time had come to enter into the real world. The world of work. The world of paying bills and loans back. The world of even less structured scripts for me to follow. For a bit, I embraced the freedom from reading and studying. But all too soon I was forced to try to find my footing in the professional working world. I had already set up my internship with InterVarsity, and now I just needed to find a part-time job, learn to drive, get my license, get a car, get insurance, and all that good stuff.
The weeks after graduation left little to no time to job hunt. One week was devoted to a conference in Catalina Island with CSULA students. Another three weeks was reserved for intern training in Oregon and Washington state. Then, the remaining weeks were taken by helping my mom at the office and my dad around the home. This seemed to me a very stress-laden timeline, but to God, it was an opportunity to build my trust in Him.
So between the lazy but productive days of applying for jobs, researching and scheduling driving lessons, and getting excited to actually start getting more involved with my internship, God did His work. One of the few companies I applied for online gave me a call back and asked if I could come in to take a pre-employment test. THINK Together was the name of the company. They helped kids after school, so I figured they just wanted to make sure I knew how to read, write, and do basic math problems.
I ended up getting to the office about 10 minutes late. Even though I had allowed 30 extra minutes from the time I had planned to arrive, the buses had to take a detour because of some major accident on the roadways! Even though I arrived late, they were still able to administer the test for me. They corrected my test on the spot and asked if I could come in for an interview in a few weeks! I was excited, and hopeful that this could go through, since it was the first job I applied for on my own (without family connections).
I got so caught up in trying to impress the employers and to sell my skills, and did quite well, as they offered me a position on the spot after my interview! Long story short, I was able to get my drivers license AND a car (after so much research!) AND a job all lined up in about a month! I was ecstatic! However, that ecstasy would not last very long.....
Pretty much my first MONTH working with THINK Together was a nightmare. I was literally on a roller coaster of feeling inadequate, invaluable, incompetent, depressed, and almost hopeless that I was cut out for this job. It was definitely an eye-opening experience because I have never struggled to be so mediocre for anything else in my life! Even if I didn't like what I was doing, I could always try and be decent at it...not so with this position. The third grade class I had did not listen or follow directions. They talked when I talked, and the times I had with them did not have any structure or routine. This was partly because I was not thoroughly trained, partly because of my lack of experience working with kids, partly because my boss was very unprepared and didn't have much time to invest in training me, and partly because of the lack of materials I was provided with. Mostly though, I believe this happened to strengthen my dependence on God.
So after almost two months, things are getting a LOT better with the kids. They respect me now, and I have connected so many parallels between my kids and me as God's son. All in all, jobs, money, and bills may seem important to us, but in the grand scheme of things, they are not eternal--what we do with these things though CAN have an eternal impact. Looking forward, I am a little worried, but VERY hopeful for what lies in my future. Whether that specifically involves missions, ministry, seminary, grad school, urban ministry, or something completely different, I want to be ready for wherever and whatever God would have me to do :)
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